NMTBtitle (Large)

 

It was half past nine in the evening and quite dark.  The phone rang.  It was dad.  He was very agitated.

‘There are people in my house – lots of them; men and women.  They’re sitting on my settee. I have told them to go but they won’t.’

‘Who are they dad?’

‘I don’t know.  They won’t tell me.’

‘What are they doing?’

‘Oh, just talking, asking me questions, laughing.’

‘Can you let me talk to them, dad?’

‘MY SON SAYS YOU HAVE TO TALK TO HIM.’ 

‘They won’t.  Now they’ve issued me a death warrant.’

‘FUCK OFF!. GO ON. FUCK OFF!!!’.

‘Don’t worry Dad.  You just keep them talking and I’ll get the police.’

‘MY SON’S CALLING THE POLICE.’   

I phoned Toby who is an ex-policeman and runs the neighbourhood watch.  He was  out, but Judith said she’d go down and look around.

Ten minutes later, she called back. ‘There’s nobody there. Nick; no cars in the drive.  And I looked through the window.  You father’s alone in the house.’

I called dad back.

‘Hello, Nick.’

‘Have those people gone.’

‘Oh yes. They’ve gone now. But they left a message.’

 ‘Did they?  What did it say?’

 ‘Just a minute. I wrote it down.’

 ‘Here it is.’ 

 ‘NEVER MIND THE BUZZCOCKS’

 

 Never Mind the Buzzcocks is a popular BBC television panel game with a pop and rock theme.  It has been on air since 1996 and stars Phill Jupitus and a variety of guests.

 Today is dad’s birthday.  He would have been 93, but he died a month before his 91st.   

 

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